Today’s unprecedented announcements have lead to mass chaos here in the United States. At this point it is uncertain if a Federal state of emergency will be announced or not, particularly in the former state of California where no one seems to know who is in charge or which government, if any, has the right to declare a state of emergency or even martial law…

It all began merely six hours ago when, due to the continued precipitous fall of the US dollar, China, became so concerned with the apparent inability of the United States to honor the now $36 trillion in unsecured loans or even meet the annualized $1.2 trillion in interest payments, that the Chinese government called the notes due and payable immediately.

In response to this action the McCain - Romney White house made an offer so incredible - so unbelievable - so truly incomprehensible that nothing like it was ever imagined by the general public or conceived of in our constitution or under any law nor by any prior administration. Under the incredible pressure being exerted by the Chinese, coupled with the threat that the US would be expelled from the G-8, and would also be cut off from any further exports from China as well as facing the prospect that OPEC would agree to the Chinese demand to dispense with the US dollar as the sole currency under which OPEC oil could be purchased President McCain, with Vice President Romney at his side proposed the shocking one-time deal.

In exchange for their agreement to forgive all debt including any past due interest payments as well as to cease their demands upon OPEC and extend further credit for the now $3 trillion in annual Chinese imports (mostly from toys, pharmaceuticals, animal feed, and personal care products) McCain offered California to China.

Of course the Chinese accepted the deal immediately and have announced that their new territory will be renamed Chinafornia. There was one additional caveat to the Chinese acceptance of the deal. They insisted upon a one thousand year lease, including all mineral rights to the Arctic National Wildlife Preserve. Being in no position to negotiate, McCain agreed and the Chinese have apparently already contracted with Russian owned Rosneft to immediately drill exploratory wells and begin construction of a pipeline in anticipation of future oil discovery.

Many questions remain unanswered at this time which has lead to the aforementioned unease particularly among US citizens who now find themselves to be occupants of what appears to now be foreign soil. Among these questions, the most crucial appear to be whether the residents of Chinafornia have now lost their US citizenship and become in effect naturalized Chinese, or whether they will be considered illegal aliens and ultimately forced out of the country as the millions of Chinese that had been waiting for approval to immigrate to the US begin arriving as soon as the first flight lands tomorrow morning.

Of course property ownership is another huge question that has yet to receive any satisfactory answer from either the former administration or Chinafornia’s new leadership. Do homeowners retain the rights to their property and now simply pay their taxes to China? What about businesses in the territory? And who is responsible for Chinafornia’s own massive $586 billion budgetary shortfall?

Business owners are justifiably nervous - one man could be heard angrily demanding to know what sort of trading regulations will be put in place? As many companies based in Chinafornia have offices throughout the United States and even the globe one has to wonder: will those companies be split up?

At this hour little is known and even less is certain. The one thing we do know is that China is taking this deal very seriously and reports indicate that they’ve immediately dispatched one hundred and sixteen carrier groups including some 540,000 combat troops towards the Chinafornia coast, ostensibly to provide protection for the new territory. The obvious question has to be asked: protection from whom?

Certainly the US Military is over matched should combat ensue. In spite of McCain’s bold pre-election platform that due to his own distinguished military service he was the more qualified Commander in Chief in a time of war our military capabilities have continued to deteriorate due to a combination of arrogance and ineptitude. Like his immediate predecessor, the draft dodging, booze swilling “Bonesman” (who after leaving office finally acknowledged that the pre-election reports that had my own personal hero, Dan Rather cast from the pantheon of reporting greats were in fact completely accurate) McCain has made glaring strategic errors at every turn.

His “maverick” reputation has certainly been firmly established. Sadly the reasons for this - principally for failing to heed the advice of his generals who have actually seen the combat zone from beyond the comparative safety of the “Green Zone”. But also for ignoring the pleas of his own Secretary of Defense and other Cabinet members, as well as an impassioned Op-Ed piece in the New York Times written by none other than Colin Powell. Of course Powell has no credibility either. The disgraced former commander never recovered from the lies he told America on behalf of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of the Neo Cons.

While it is easy to blame McCain and Romney for the current situation, we have to remember that the descent began at the hands of the aforementioned group of political thugs that have dragged us so far from Kennedy’s vision of this country that he wouldn’t recognize it today if he were resurrected.

Ever the ridiculous optimist, Romney was quick to point out that there is in fact a silver lining to the Chinafornia debacle. “It puts” he said, “a huge dent in the immigration problem. With the number of illegal aliens residing in what used to be a US State” he continues, clearly reluctant to pronounce the name of the ex-state, California, “as well as the huge amount of unprotected border that this “wilderness” area comprises, it takes an enormous burden off our border patrol and will ultimately save us tens of millions of dollars as a result of no longer having to defend this extensive region.”

McCain too, attempting to salvage the remainder of this disaster they call a term, tried to put a positive spin on things. “With their unparalleled ability to get the most from their citizens and their ability to manufacture virtually anything we can at 100th the price, the advantage of having a new Chinese territory so close to the US will have a dramatic impact on the shipping costs as well as the lead times for Chinese imports” he said.

In spite of these impassioned messages of hope, the American people - who - it must be said have mostly themselves to blame for this situation - having not once but thrice allowed elections to be corrupted by a republican machine that somehow managed to generate more votes for McCain than there were registered voters in both parties - combined! are not having any of it. And by the look of things in the District of Columbia where McCain and Romney made their historic announcement, things could turn ugly fast.

Of course how that happens remains a question that no one appears willing to even speak aloud at the moment…

…This Just In…
It appears that while this broadcast was being taped, preliminary news has come in from an unidentified source at the WhiteHouse and according to this source the district of Columbia may have been sold off to the highest bidder in a silent auction that apparently just concluded moments ago.

The initial reports suggest that Saudi Arabia has penned the winning bid however a second source claims that Iran, flush with cash from recent oil sales to China, India and Russia has actually made an offer that was as excessive as it was unexpected.

Our man on the ground in Iran reports that Ahmadinejad has already been on Iranian television announcing his winning offer. His all too familiar rhetoric has taken a decidedly nasty turn. “He will, he claims, accomplish his task of wiping Israel from the map, only now”, he says, “by first wiping out the dog that protects her”.

This reporter has personally had and seen enough for one day. He can only hope that this telecast has been the worst nightmare he has ever had and that tomorrow when he awakes he will find that California is still part of the Union and not the newest addition to the Republic; in spite of how much he can save on lead painted toys, contaminated pet feed and pharmaceuticals, regardless of how this would solve the immigration problem and in spite of the mountain of debt that can now be stacked not only to the moon but nearly to Mars.

In fact it can be said that there’s a certain delicious irony in the fact that GHWB and his lame duck son had both spoke of one day putting a man on Mars though one has to suspect that neither one had a dead two dimensional US President in mind when they made that suggestion.

Copywrite 2008 © Oliver W. Starr

Editor’s note: Growing up my grand-dad had a feedlot in Greeley, Colorado. This short fiction is based upon events related to that property.

Greeley

The two men leaned against the fence staring silently over the long shadows of the corn as another September day waned gently into dusk.

After a bit one of the two pushed himself away from the fence and strode to his car, a non-descript oversized four door American sedan, a throwback to days when gas was $0.69 cents a gallon, not the $1.75 it had jumped to in the past year.

The man walked around to the rear of the vehicle and the creak of the trunk’s hinges, testifying to a disdain the man had for maintaining that particular vehicle, broke the songs of the meadowlarks in the cornfield.  In the stead of their warble another sound, the soft rustle of ice could be heard  as the man fished around in a cooler that was stored in the trunk. The hinges whined again, more pitifully this time, as the trunk  was closed with a hollow “thunk’ and a click as the lock sprung back into place.

The man walked back around the car, returning to his station along the fence. Holding one beer in the crook of his arm he cracked the can open and solemnly, almost as if it was a ritual offering, handed the first beer to his companion. Then with equal care he opened his own can, deliberately lifted it to his lips and drank deep. He did not hurry.

Then, balancing the remainder of the beer atop the flat stub of a fencepost he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, adjusted his cap so that it further hid his eyes in shadow, and drew in a long slow breath.
“Yeah. Chelsea was never the same after that, he began. It was one of those farm accidents you hear about. Story goes he was working in the field pulling the discus with the tractor- something jammed I hear tell. Said he climbed down from the tractor and could see whatever it was jammed up inside the discus so he used the hydraulics to raise the the works up a bit and had got himself up underneath the whole darn mess.”

“Seems he was yankin’ on whatever it was jamming things up when whatever it was came loose. Trouble was ,it took with it the hydraulic hose that was keeping the discus raised up and the whole damn thing came down on’em.”

“T” tell you the truth, he was lucky - it could have sliced him into little pieces; instead it just sliced into his shoulder - yeah it’s true - sliced into it like you’d slice into a drumstick you wanted to separate from a thigh - but that’s better than getting sliced through the neck or the back or both legs I reckon.”

“Anyways he was lucky twice for being stupid. You know what they say about fools, drunks and children… he coulda been pinned neath it all night. Wouldn’t of mattered if he’d been able to holler till he died from losing all that blood.”

The man fell silent - imagining perhaps the scene he was describing.  Wondering if he would have given up or screamed and screamed and screamed… after a few moments, he went on.

“That no good 500 pound wife of his can’t even get out of her own chair without help, let alone go out inna the fields to see what the noise was about. No sir. He could have screamed til he died with her in the next room and had no help - none a’tall”

“Ray, the other ranch hand forgot his thermos. That’s what saved him. He come back fer it, and noticed that the quonset hut was still open and that the tractor was out. He thought that Jackie’s kids might of come down and been messing with things like they did time to time but then he saw it settin there in the field with the sun goin down and it didn’t look right”.

“That’s what he said, he said it didn’t look right. So he went over to check it out - ta see what why it was laid up just so and when he got close first thing he noticed was a big cloud of flies like something was dead. Damned peculiar he told me…”

“Then that big black and white mutt that only Chelsea could come near stands up in between Ray and the tractor and growls real low and mean like. “Like he meant business” was how Ray put it.”

The other man leaned forward against the fence, cradling his beer in both hands, his head turned to focus his attention on the first man. Like his companion, his eyes were deep in the shadow cast by the wide brim of his hat - a straw cowboy hat that was stained dark from more then one day’s honest labor. The orange-red sun came through the weave of the hat in a pattern leaving a cross-hatch shadow across the lower half of his face, like some sort of weird transparent bandanna used to conceal the features with just the barest hint of the whites of two eyes peering out from the darkness above.

“it’s a good thing we still carry guns out in these parts”

“Yup. Ray said the same. Shot that summbitch right between the eyes - nothing else he could do I reckon. He said he felt bad about it later but as he figured, it was the dog or it was him, never mind Chelsea - he hadn’t even got up close enough to the tractor to get an eyeful of that mess yet…”

“Was bad I hear.”
“Yup. Ray said that too. Said Chelsea was out when he walked up. Said he thought he was dead. Said there was so much blood on the ground - he told me he didn’t know a man had that much blood in’em - told me no way he thought a person could have that much blood drain out and still pull through.”

“From the way Ray tells it he was going to walk back to the office and call the police to pick up the body; he wasn’t even going to touch it, says he can’t stomach the sight of blood and he’s something mighty averse to touching something dead - even if that something was someone he knew. But then he said he got this feeling like he needed to do something - to say something - like something was missing or needed to be put to rights before he left him there.”

“It’s damn weird. You know I’m not a spiritual man, haven’t seen the inside of a church since the day I got married - can you blame me all the favors that woman has done me over the years - no I’m not spirtual t’all but I think that was the spirit talking or something akin to it.”

“Anyways, Ray says to me - I felt like I had to do something - compelled to do something but I didn’t want to touch him you understand - I didn’t want to touch him something fierce. Finally, I pulled my gun out from my belt - it was still warm from shootin’ the dog - I pulled it out and I put the barrel under his chin and kinda lifted it…”

“Nearly blew his head off too is what Ray tells me. Said he was lifting his chin up the guy opens his eyes. ” “Damn good thing I had the sense put that safety back on after - otherwise his problems woulda been over and mine would just been getting started. I closed my finger on the trigger hard - scared the crap outta me it did when he opened his eyes.” Is what he said.

“It woulda scared me too. Woulda gave me nightmares for ages what it woulda done.”

“That’s what Ray said it done did to him too. Said he still couldn’t sleep a night without thinking about it. Figures it’d be the only man in town with two different colored eyes - same as that damn dog of his that Ray shot. Ray said he never noticed if afore that moment. He said first thing came into his mind was that he was seeing the devil up close and personal-like. Said it was closest he’d been to peeing hisself, said it made him want to go back to church.”

“Did he?”

“Did who?”

“Ray.”

“Did Ray what?”
“Go back to church? I mean before today? Did Ray ever go back to church before today?”

“Not that I can recall. Maybe for a wedding or a funeral but I don’t think in the end it changed him much. Aside from more nights up watching the television til the sun come up.”

“So what do ya reckon they’ll do with the farm now?”

“That’s the question, ain’t it? That’s the $25,000 question.”  The man sighed heavily.  “I seen that crook of a developer pokin’ his head around a few times and I seen that sneak they call “Stevie” out here too. Wish the lot of them would stay back in the city far as I’m concerned. They’re gonna fill her head with nonsense and she won’t listen to reason what I figure is gonna happen.”

“They’re all in it for theirselves ain’t they?”

“Well, we all are - but some folks can be in it for theirself and not take advantage of nobody else neither but not those city people. They’re all the same near as I can tell. Like rats worried someone else got a bigger piece of cheese.”

“Hell. In the end don’t matter anyway. We all end up in the same ground under the same sky with someone rememberin’ us in ways we maybe wish they wouldn’t. Far as I’m concerned you do your best, you don’t take unfair advantage, you put in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wages  and you treat folks with respect. You keep your word when you give it and you hope for the best.” The man said that last softly - it came out but barely as a whisper.

His friend couldn’t tell what he was thinking - the man’s face was a blank mask under the hat in the waning light.  Finally, the other man, the one in the cowboy hat turned towards his friend and said  “Yeah, Joe. I know. I’ll miss him too.”